no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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