i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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