Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
