My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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