they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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