wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
