return my video game
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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