"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
