Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
