the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
