I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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