I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
