haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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