Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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