we have pet lesbian snakes
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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