he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
