i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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