so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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