the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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