She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
