Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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