Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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