I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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