he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
