Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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