I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I see more hoeing in ur future
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