You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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