you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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