susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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