My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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