I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
