i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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