If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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