20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
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This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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