If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
