It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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