is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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