Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize