I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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