Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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