Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize