Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
