She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
