Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
