How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
