I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
