Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
