It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Randomize
