I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
