Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
