Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
