Porn is love you can see.
Someone shit on the floor
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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