using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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