My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
