So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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