When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize