Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize