fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
