Your face is a jimmy john
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize