He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
