If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
