He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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