Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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