We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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