I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
