So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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