The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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